“It may be that erotic love is more intense, dramatic, and romantic under imperialist colonialist circumstances than during normalisation,” writes Maxine Hong Kingston in her introduction to Marguerite Duras’ The Lover. And I wholeheartedly agree with her. I recently read Eileen Chang’s Lust, Caution as well and had similar thoughts.

The pressure, fear, confusion, lack of control, all contribute to how intense and torrid an affair can become. After all, it’s human nature to seek an anchor when one’s own life isn’t under their own control. And is there a better anchor than an all-consuming, uncontrollable, erotic love that’s forbidden in some way or another? I believe when it comes to eroticism in the context that Maxine talks about, that Duras (and Eileen Chang) write so wonderfully, it is this uncontrollability in which lies the most control. It is a declaration to oneself that we alone exercise control over our personal lives, even if it’s only in our bedrooms, behind closed doors, away from the prying eyes of those (society & state) who seek to control us.

“I’m worn out with desire.”

I picked up The Lover after listening to C Pam Zhang on the PouredOver podcast. She cites The Lover as one the key inspirations for The Land of Milk & Honey.

The Lover is an enthralling, 120-page long semi-autobiographical novella. With remarkable handling of commentary on colonialism, racial tensions, society & class, family dynamics, desire and love, expressions of masculinity, Duras writes in quick snapshots full of intense emotion; much like memories. The illicit affair is simultaneously violent and tender, and it is this dichotomy in which the complex characters, actions, and emotions play out. Amidst these themes, The Lover also is a reflection on the making of a writer.

“We smile at each other. I ask him if it's usual to be sad, as we are. He says it's because we've made love in the daytime, with the heat at its height. He says it's always terrible after. He smiles. Says, Whether people love one another or not, it's always terrible. Says it will pass as soon as it gets dark.”

Please see CW before picking this up.

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