Emily Post's Etiquette was gentle, and saw étiquette as a gracious bonus to social interaction. Debrett's British approach is much more brutal and delivers guidelines to avoid a social car crash.
In alphabetical order, situations are briefly considered from all sides (the neighbour of the crying baby in an airplane, the parents, the baby). For Post it is about what should be, while for Debrett's it absolutely must be that way.
The book seems to be written with contained anger at the memory of known regrettable situations. I don’t think Post ever regretted anything in her life, it would be uncouth.
Excuses (....) As for making excuses about your own behaviour, this is best avoided. Benjamin Disraeli's famous comment, "Never complain and never explain", is based on the strength and confidence conveyed by knowing when to stop talking. Excusing a poor performance on the grounds of ill-health, extenuating circumstances or somebody else's error makes you look weak.
Post's goal was the expression of graciousness and the creation of shared ease; the British approach is focused on the control of one's emotions and the avoidance of annoyance.
Hangovers: Hangovers are generally self-inflicted, so you should approach the day after an evening's overindulgence with stoicism and keep your misery to yourself.
Hypochondria: (...) hypochondria is just so tempting. In this callous world we live in, it's no good expecting any sympathy for anything less than a full-blown medical condition so you might as well exaggerate just to get some attention. So go right ahead and moan to yourself that you're sure that cough is turning into pneumonia, just don't breathe a word to those around: they don't want your germs, imaginary or otherwise.
Once again, I can’t help but notice the emphasis on rules around male appearance.
Baldness: Accept your thinning hair by keeping it very short or shaved. Be grateful for the money you're saving on expensive hair products, be sure to wear sunscreen in warm weather, and never sport a comb-over.
(See also Kilts, Underdressed, Dress Codes etc.). Maybe it is time for men to burn their ties the same way others have burned their bras.
