Grief fueled addiction with fingers pointed directly at it, interesting reversal of addiction mentality. While addiction generally creeps in to fill holes and cope, the mc in this openly seeks drugs to attempt to completely black out her life and wake up anew. Kind of a "Bargaining" stage exploration - if i can just make it a year with 0 thoughts I'll be all good :D

The ending - diving into the deepest 6 month binge only to come out a better, happier person is a nice bit of irony, wish that worked!