“Of course, said the man in the bar, we Americans take a different view of women altogether from what you folks do. I understand that is so, said Raikes, the navigator, who had been in the bar longer than most people. Yes, sir, said the other man, who had been there almost as long. We put them right high up on a pedestal. Very wise, said Raikes. Best way of seeing their legs. And then, said the man, who wasn't listening, we bring them tributes of candy and flowers, and we respect them. That ought to do the trick, said Raikes. That's why, said the man, America is the only country in the world where women are one hundred-per-cent safe all the time. Our young American girls, he went on, developing his theme with relish, are clean and decent, without a wrong thought in their heads-- and that's particularly so in the State of Missouri, where I come from. Our American homes are sacred, our American mothers are honoured throughout the land, and our American womanhood is universally held to be the purest in the world. Good show, said Rikes. Did you say something about legs, Captain asked the man presently. Yes, said Raikes. I'm a tit man myself”

—A Drunk American