A 21-year-old writer tells the story of a teenager with a lot of issues (anoxeria, dyslexia among them), not really enjoying life.

(…) I still felt the burden of my involuntary role as a mammal dragging me down. In the same way that a night of sleep put wrinkles in a bed-sheet, just being alive took a toll. To talk to someone you had to move the flesh on your face. You bathed to get rid of the grime that built up on your skin and clipped your nails because they kept growing. I exhausted myself trying to achieve the bare minimum, but it had never been enough. My will and my body would always disengage before I got there.

Her only respite is in her oshi, Masaki, the celebrity ('idol' in Japanese English) she follows and supports. And more: she comments everything he does, and writes a blog known among other fans. The novella begins with startling news: Masaki might have hit a fan. How will Akari survive the flaming of her idol?

It's a bit messy. The point of the story (how do you survive losing the center of your life?) was to be found in one of the six afterwords. In the author's acknowledgments, we learn dyslexia was inspired by the author's brother's difficulties in school; the life of a fan by hers. The translator note explains the ending (the cotton swabs she picks up right at the end look like bones in ashes: she is picking up her life at least), and the designer notes explain some choices (it has illustrations).

Although this felt more like young adult literature (it received the Akutagawa Prize in 2020, which celebrates first-time authors), and a lot seems to be lost in translation, it has documentary value and some nice pieces.