Name: The book that launched a thousand asian-american diaspora books
Item: Crying in H Mart
Author: lowiqmarkfisher

Crying in H Mart →

by Michelle Zauner

The book that launched a thousand asian-american diaspora books

lowiqmarkfisher

Aug 6, 2024 5:08 PM

It's a touching story. Who can't cry for someone who lost their mother through cancer. An underdog musician who went from a nobody to somebody with sheer grit, perseverance, and luck? Someone who had a loved one claimed by the emperor of all maladies. The brutal nature of the disease, our optimism towards conquering it, then failing again and again even with the brightest minds of our generation tackling the task, until someone in your family dies from it. You cannot rest easy even if you beat it; it may return to claim you as a victim just a year later.

It's something too many people in this cold harsh world can unfortunately relate to. Once you see someone go through it, you simply lose all hope for karmic justice in this world. You realize that there truly is no happy ending in life for the majority. The only way you could possibly cope is by telling yourself it's genetic, that it's ordained by the higher powers that you die here and now. At least what else could you cope with as you see your family member wither away in a hospital?

But I'm sorry, this book started the trend of recent books, in which Asian Americans complain about their "abusive" parents and somehow mention the word "complex trauma" more than they should. It's ironic they're all highly educated, with ivy league degrees and went to magnet schools. Seems like it worked out, huh? You want to see some real shit? Go to your home country, the one you larp so hard for cultural heritage, then go see what the alternative is when you weren't born with a US passport. Then go meet their parents and see if they're oriental angels. I swear to god if one person says "whataboutism" I will egg your house.

I actually think this book, compared to some of the diaspora books I had to suffer through in dreadful book clubs, is pretty decent. Yes, there's too much food involved and seems forced as a theme after a while. Yes, only a wasian could name their book "Crying in H Mart". Yes, it gets exhausting to see someone do CBT in form of a memoir. But it's authentic, true to herself, and not ghostwritten. She is also not just somebody, she is Little Big League, she is Japanese Breakfast. She is a true artist, unlike most authors who write this archetype of memoirs.

I did relate to her, I did like parts of the book. But I simply cannot help but think that the entire memoir could have been executed better. I did not really think the food theme should have been the central theme of her book. I think she is simply too interesting as an individual to use ... fucking H Mart as the title of her book. But that's what a memoir is. It's so personal, it's catharsis in the truest sense. It's creating a narrative in your own life. I commend her for writing this book. It's an incredible feat no matter what. To have it resonate with so many people, is another feat. As someone said, being a sell-out is often harder than being the indie princess.

Ok now let me make it about myself as per usual. I notice that Korean-Americans and Korean wasians simply get too fixated on aspects of our culture that are... exportable. It's commentary on culture from an outsider perspective. No, I don't give a fuck if you lived in Seoul for 6 years as a child. You experience it as an outsider, through a looking glass that I call LARP. You view my culture through your American lens, and you inevitably end up talking about your parents or food for 40 paragraphs because that's your entire reference.

And jesus christ, there's literally nothing more boring than someone talking about their parents or their kids. No one cares your ass got beat. So did everyone. Except at least you got beat and have a CS degree from Penn. No one cares your mom put incredible academic pressure on you. So did my cousin and he's working 996 and you're working in an American tech company putting in 20hrs/wk making dollars. No one cares you and your parents couldn't talk about feelings. If it was easy then your psych couldn't get kickbacks off your wellbutrin script to save up for his mortgage down payment.

+12

icarusrising9

1 year ago

That may all be true... but does it really change anything about the experience and emotional impact of going through such things? Sure, perspective on one's own problems is important, but remember, even multimillionaires regularly commit suicide. They had more money than most people; they're still dead. Likewise, it's not like pointing out that others' parents were also difficult, that other people have it harder, etc etc actually changes anything about the difficulty of navigating a difficult childhood, a confusing adolescence, an unmoored adulthood. If anything, having the leisure to reflect on such memories presents its own difficulties. I get where you're coming from emotionally, I do, but I'd argue your review largely sort of misses the point. Or maybe I'm just knee-jerk defending the book; I remember really enjoying it. P.S. thanks for making this site, it fuckin' rocks!

lowiqmarkfisher

1 year ago

no you're totally right. I don't think you're having a knee jerk reaction at all; I think if anything my review was a knee jerk reaction. I also made this review extra critical since I wanted the site to have an early review where it's extremely harsh and talks about the contexts around the books rather than just the books itself. In a way I wanted this review to serve as a scapegoat that "you can write a bunch of harsh and nonsensical stuff like this on the site".